Secret Santa
by PyschoticGoldfish
Summary: Clarke gets Bellamy's name for Secret Santa and worries over what to get him - Bellarke


Staring down at the dirt under her, Clarke drifted her hand over the ground softly, deep in contemplation. Her brow was furrowed softly, mouth pursed as she thought through her options. She could try and make a blanket from one of the animal pelts, but they were something that everyone got anyway, it wasn't something special. Or she could try and make some sort of ornament from shells and rocks... But that was lame. Maybe she could try making some chocolate from the cocoa beans they found? But she had no idea how to do that, only that it was possible somehow, and she only had a few days left to sort the gift out.

When she first suggested having Secret Santa in the camp, everyone had been ecstatic. With limited resources on the Ark, Christmas wasn't something that was widely celebrated, but down here with resources to spare it was a great idea! Unfortunately, since the suggestion three weeks ago, and the name-picking two weeks ago, Clarke hadn't had a minute to spare to think about what she was going to get as a gift for the person whose name she had picked. Who, by the way, happened to be her co-leader Bellamy. She didn't want to get him something that would make it obvious the gift was from her, because she didn't want him to think she was putting too much effort into their alliance. Well, friendship was maybe a better word for what had occurred over the past couple of months.

Since finally reuniting everyone and getting their charges out of Mount Weather, the two leaders had become more close than before. They'd both been through a lot and had immense pressure placed upon them, which brought them together. When she needed to vent about how everyone looked up to her and she didn't deserve it, the only person that could talk her through her panic was Bellamy, because he understood what it was like. And when he fretted over all he had done in the past, Clarke was there to calm him down and remind him of all the good he had achieved. She would never have been able to keep as many people alive without his help, their conflicting opinions balanced each other out and helped find a better answer, one that would keep everyone safe. The fact they could work together now was the main reason that everyone slept in shared cabins now, as opposed to tents.

Since building the cabins, a unanimous decision was come to by the rest of the camp that Clarke and Bellamy should have their own. Bellamy's doubled up as the room everyone went to in order to talk tactics, and Clarke's doubled up as a store room for medical supplies. The camp had tried to vote in favour for them sharing a cabin, but that was going one step too far. They had already taken to calling their leaders Mom and Dad, ironically at first but then with endearment, neither one of them wanted to give off the wrong impression. Even if they did refer to everyone in camp as their kids.

Looking around, Clarke waited for inspiration to strike. She had no idea what everyone had been doing for the past two weeks, but everyone else seemed to be rushed off their feet trying to finish projects for their gifts and now Clarke was nearly out of time. Although, to be fair on her, she had spent most of the past month nursing a lot of colds and handing out herbal treatments. It didn't help that the cold had come down surprisingly quickly, leaving her scrambling for resources while she could still gather them. As of now, only a few persistent herbs and flowers grew around her, mostly everything was bare.

If only she was good at sculpting, like Finn, she could make him a model of something. But no. Her only skills seemed to be healing people - which didn't come into much use for gifting - and art. Although... She could always draw him something?

No, that would be stupid, what would she even draw. Bellamy wouldn't want any reminders of the Ark, he hardly had a great time aboard it, and everything on Earth was easy enough to see in person. But there must be something. If not, she was royally screwed, because she was giving herself a headache trying to think of something.

Casting her thoughts back to her quarters on the Ark, she remembered all the drawings on her walls. All the things she wished to one day see on Earth, and that she wanted to remember from the Ark. A sketch of Wells' face after she beat him at chess for the first time. One of her mother bent over someone, saving their life. And one of her father laughing at a joke she had told, love apparent in his eyes.

It was remembering these sketches, hidden on the wall behind her bed, that Clarke suddenly knew what to draw for Bellamy. But in order to pull it off, she would need someone's help.

"Hey Octavia, gimme a hand?" Clarke smiled at the younger girl as she beckoned from the entrance to her cabin, getting the brunette to follow her inside. Octavia frowned, unaware of what to expect, but entered the cabin and looked around suspiciously.

"What's up, mom?" Octavia picked up a piece of dried seaweed and turned it over in her hands, looking around to see if there was anything immediately in need of attention.

Clarke grinned slightly at the nickname before answering."First, how's the hand?" She pointed at Octavia's hand, which was currently a mixture of green, blue and purple. There was bruising around most of it from where she had landed funny whilst drunk three nights before, and a few cuts were still healing.

Pulling a face, Octavia shrugged. "It's fine, just a hand. What's really up?" Clarke sighed before answering.

"Okay, so don't read into how much effort I'm going to here, but I need a hand with my Secret Santa. I got your brothers name, and I want to draw a portrait of the two of you together, but I need to be able to study the two of you in a certain position to be able to draw it from memory..." She blushed slightly, clearing her throat. "And I need you to sit still while I do a sketch of your face to make sure I can get it right."

"Ha! Brilliant, he'll love it," came Octavia's happy answer. A smile lit up her entire face as she thought of what it would mean to her brother. Plus, you know, they were the first siblings since life on the Ark began, there should be a record kept of them somehow. "Sure, I'll stay put for a while, but what 'position' do you want exactly?"

"Um..." Clarke furrowed her brow, thinking to how she envisioned the portrait. "Okay, so... I remember a lot of photo's from recent history classes, where families would have arms around each others waist and would be smiling at the camera. So something like that." She thought hard for a second. "Obviously you won't be looking at a camera, just put your arm around him and get him to do the same, and I'll do the expression from memory."

Octavia smirked, holding back a laugh. "And how, glorious leader, will you draw my moody brothers face from memory with a smile on it?" She was pretty sure she knew the answer, but wasn't about to let anything slip. She had a bottle of moonshine and weeks worth of extra food at risk due to the bets everyone had been placing on how long before Clarke and Bellamy ended up together. She looked away when Clarke blushed, putting the seaweed down and walking over to Clarke's bed to sit down. By the time she looked back around, Clarke had composed herself.

"He smiles when we finally come to agreements sometimes. I'll rack my brains to remember one of those times, whatever." The truth was that she had seen his smile from up close and person a few times now, pretty much every time they got drunk. The camp had almost weekly parties with Monty and Jaspers moonshine, and whenever the leaders joined in they seemed to end up arguing somewhere secluded about something mundane, before coming together and kissing the brains out of each other. Although kissing was as far as they'd gone. Clarke wasn't stupid enough to think Bellamy would like her sober, and therefore never let things get any further. She didn't need to wake up one day next to him and make things awkward while they were going so well, no matter how much of a crush she had on him. It wouldn't be worth it.

Tearing her thoughts away from the memory of their last kiss, Clarke picked up a painted red shell from a table. "You okay to stay here for a bit while I sketch? I've got berries to pay you with..." She laughed softly as Octavia's face lit up, the younger girl nodding eagerly. As far as camp were aware, the only berries left since winter had arrived were the ones Clarke used for medicinal purposes. No one realised that she used them as a placebo for painkillers in tea, so she wouldn't miss them too much. Opening the door to her cabin, Clarke hung the shell from a nail hammered into the front, before closing it again.

Enough people had been walked in on when 'busy' that it had become custom to use a painted red shell as a 'do not disturb' sign over ones door. These were to be used sparingly, as people sharing cabins had at first found themselves constantly shut out of their homes waiting for their 'roommates' to finish up and free up the communal rooms. Every cabin also had a blue painted shell to be hung whenever someone inside was asleep, to let people know to be quiet when entering or that if the person sleeping was needed they would probably be grouchy.

Once her shell was hung, Clarke grabbed a handful of berries and tossed them to Octavia one by one. She watched Octavia smile as she began to munch on them, before grabbing her sketchbook and charcoal and getting to work.

Rolling his shoulders, Bellamy groaned at the pain lancing down his back. Four days ago, part of the wall surrounding the camp had collapsed, and it had taken a huge effort to fix. Normally something like this could be fixed pretty sharpish, however no one wanted to stay out in the cold for too long so everyone was skipping off for breaks constantly. Because of this, Bellamy had moved more logs than anyone else, as he refused to stop working. He took a deep breath before straightening his spine and raising his arms over his head, fingers interlocking and muscles bulging while he stretched them out tiredly. As he was lowering his arms, he felt a slim one wrap itself around his waist. Glancing down, he saw Octavia grinning up at him and smiled. She'd been sneaking up on him from the side for a few hours now, getting a hug in whenever possible, and if Bellamy didn't know any better he would think she was after something.

"Hey Bell! Watcha doin'?" Her sunny voice rang out as she squeezed his side, and he stifled a laugh.

"Working," came his short reply as he lowered his arms back to his sides. He let one hang around his sisters waist protectively but put his other hand in his pocket. "Why? What're you after?"

"Nothing. Just wondering. Wanna help me sneak some of Monty's moonshine later? He made a new batch, this one doesn't taste like dirt anymore!" She wiggled her eyebrows and giggled, looking towards the dropship where Monty and Jasper were sat talking.

"O, I don't think you need to drink any more of that this week. You've already been drunk, and look where that got you," Bellamy motioned to her hand, trembling slightly where it was pressed against him. He didn't like the fact she seemed to be causing herself pain just by hugging him, and it really wasn't like her - they might be the only siblings from the Ark, but that doesn't mean they're the sort to hug constantly, they're more than happy to just be around each other usually. Pulling her arm from around him, he turned to face her full on and pushed her hair back from her face, a gesture he'd made many times on the Ark when reminding her she was beautiful. "What's going on? What's with the hugs?"

Squirming, Octavia shrugged nonchalantly. "Nothing. You're my brother. And about my hand - let it go, Clarke already reminded me about it today I don't need you to start in on that too." She looked away and made a face at something across camp, and when Bellamy followed her line of sight he frowned. Clarke was watching them both, head tilted in concentration. As soon as Bellamy made eye contact with her however, her eyes widened and she turned away, walking quickly towards the dropship. As thankful as he was for her checking up on his sister, he still found her behaviour confusing.

"Seriously, what's going on O? Are you and Clarke up to something?" He raised one eyebrow as Octavia sighed and started walking.

"Never mind. I'll go get a hug from Miller." She looked back as she made her way over to Bellamy's second and winked, and once she had found her way to Miller she took his beanie and laughed as he chased her for it back. Bellamy let the corners of his mouth turn up as he watched his sister laugh, shaking his head in amusement as he turned back to stare at where Clarke had been a few seconds earlier.

She was stood outside the dropship with Jasper and Monty, glancing over at Bellamy every few seconds and blushing deeply. Whatever she was saying to the twins - as Bellamy and Clarke had started calling them in private - she was gesturing strongly with her hands, and the two of them seemed enthralled. They were nodding at their leader almost reverently, before suddenly Monty jumped up, yelled something, and ran into the dropship. Clarke and Jasper followed him, and Bellamy finally turned away. He leant against the wall and took a moment to ignore everyone around him and lost himself in his thoughts.

He hadn't had a conversation with Clarke in three days about anything other than camp business. Of course, he was used to getting the cold shoulder for a few days after any event where there was drinking involved, because they always ended up snogging each other and Clarke tended to get embarrassed the next day. Obviously she wasn't over last time yet. There was a secret Bellamy would take to his grave about their drunken kisses; he was never actually drunk. Sure, the first few times he had been, but as soon as he noticed the pattern he stopped drinking until the kiss had occurred. It wasn't something he wanted to forget, any time it happened, because it was something he day-dreamed about on an almost daily basis.

It was something that had crept up on him over the space of a few months, since first getting down to Earth. Clarke was the one person who could understand what Bellamy was going through being a leader, it was inevitable that he would be attracted to her, but he knew she would never feel the same. He was sure he still saw her gazing longingly at Finn every now and then, so if she wanted to fawn over him that was her choice. However much he tried to force himself off liking her however, it never seemed to work. He was cursed to be around her on a daily basis, even knowing that his dreams could never come true.

Groaning, Bellamy pushed himself off the wall. 'Might aswell get back to work', he thought, 'I'll only depress myself otherwise.'

Jasper was knelt on the ground, staring into the face of his best friend, when the latest person came to drop their secret santa off in the drop ship. When they tried to speak, he shushed them and waved a hand in their general direction. He hadn't won a single staring competition yet, he needed to get at least one victory! Movement in his peripherals distracted him however, and he blinked once before whining loudly as Monty jumped up and laughed.

"God pal, you're awful at this," Monty laughed and turned to the newcomer. "Hey Jones, drop your gift off over there. We've got a bunch of name tags made up, grab the right one and attach it to the leaves with one of those sticks." Everyone in camp had been told to wrap their gifts in the big leaves that could be found in a pile at the front of the dropship. He left Jones to figure things out and turned back to Jasper. "Right, take your shot."

Jasper glared at Monty before taking a swig from the moonshine bottle between them. "You do realise the more you make me drink, the less chance I have of winning a single round." He raised his brow as Monty paused, and laughed when Monty groaned and grabbed the bottle and drank some of the clear liquid inside.

"Just drink then?" He asked his friend, grinning when Jasper nodded. "Wicked. I've got an early Christmas present for you..." he trailed off as he turned to ratch under the makeshift table, and after a few seconds brought up another two bottles of moonshine, one in each hand. He grinned as he pushed one of them towards Jasper. "Guess who made extra?"

"Awesome!" Jasper took the bottle he was offered and pushed it out of view when yet another person entered the dropship. Turning, a grin overtook the entirety of his face. "Mom!"

Clarke laughed and embraced Jasper as he jumped up to hug her, eyeing the bottle that was in his place. "You keeping drink from the rest of us, lads?" She laughed again as Monty shoved his bottle under the table again.

"We'll share with you though." Monty suggested softly, standing and taking his turn hugging the surrogate mother. She wrapped her arms around him in response and squeezed briefly before shaking her head.

"No thanks, I've got stuff to do unlike you slackers." She nudged them both and smiled, before sitting down and gesturing them to do the same. "I've made Octavia stand guard so no one will come in while I'm here. You get it made?"

The two males smirked at each other, and Jasper lifted his jacket from the floor. "Obviously." He grabbed the makeshift photo frame from the floor and handed it to Clarke.

"We couldn't find anything to use as glass, so you'll have to be careful when your sketch is inside," Monty explained, deciding Jasper was maybe a little too tipsy to tell Clarke any of this. "The frame should last though, we got one of the guys making the wall to make it, turns out he's good at sculpting stuff outta wood. Promised him extra booze at the next party."

Clarke took the frame and smiled brightly. "Thanks!" Dropping the sketchbook she had been carrying, she rifled through the pages until she came to the one she wanted, the one with the sketch of Bellamy and Octavia together. Tearing the page softly, she worked to place it in the frame before handing it over to them. "One of you mind wrapping this? I've got to get back out to check on the supplies. People starting up with colds again." When Jasper and Monty both nodded obediently, she gave them both a one armed hug before leaving. "Thanks again."

As soon as she had left the dropship, Monty grabbed a leaf to start wrapping the present, but Jasper just started laughing. "Oh my God, mom totally likes dad." Monty frowned, waiting for an explanation, which Jasper provided instantly. "She's put so much thought into a stupid Christmas present, when everyone else it making crappy stuff. Look how detailed the picture is Mont, seriously." He started laughing again and grabbed the open bottle of booze, taking a swig while monty looked down at the picture and grinned.

"You know, for once Jasp, you may be right. How lucky is it then that I rigged the name-pulling so mom and dad would get each others names."

Bellamy was astounded. Gifts had been handed out finally by a very drunk pair of best friends, and when he saw his he was blown away. He knew instantly who it was from - who else had found a bunker with art supplies, and spent free time back on the Ark sketching? - and he was just... He was amazed. Honestly, he didn't know how to feel. The thought that must have gone into this gift... At least he knew now why Octavia had been hugging him so much.

He found Octavia to show her the picture - she must have already known about it, but maybe she hadn't seen the final product yet - and revelled in the happiness he saw in her face at the likeness of the two of them. Clarke had captured them perfectly, hugging each other slightly and laughing at something someone must have said. Once she had stopped fawning over it, she suggested he go thank 'Santa' and he agreed, after putting the picture in his cabin of course, right next to his bed.

When he tried to find Clarke to say thank you however, he realised she wasn't with everyone else, she was no where to be seen. He checked a few places - her cabin, the dropship, Finn's cabin - before finally stumbling across her. She was sat at the foot of Wells' grave, speaking softly. At the head of the grave were a few of the sturdier flowers that grew around the camp, ones that could survive the cold. Clearing his throat to make himself known, he watched as Clarke whipped her head around in surprise. He didn't want to eavesdrop on whatever she was telling her dead best friend. Walking over, he was about to sit next to her when she stood up. Before she could say anything, he thrust out her present.

"You weren't there to pick up your gift." He dropped his hand as she took it gingerly and unwrapped it, curiosity taking over her features. "And I wanted to say thanks for mine. Seems fitting you should know I got yours."

Clarke looked up, shock clear on her face. She cradled the makeshift sketchbook to her chest. "Thank you. It's perfect."

Bellamy blushed and rubbed a hand along the back of his neck. "Well, you know, I noticed you running out of pages in the one you have now. And I know that it's not as good as proper paper, but this is the sort of stuff people used hundreds of years ago anyway. And-" Clarke grabbed his hand to stop him from rambling, and Bellamy flushed even deeper.

"Seriously, thank you. This must have been a lot of work."

"Nah, course not." Bellamy played for nonchalance, and anyone that knew him less than Clarke would have believed him. "I just had the idea, got a couple of the guys to help me. Not that they knew why they were doing it." He cleared his throat and Clarke let the corners of her mouth twitch upwards. "And I mean, the one you got me was amazing. Like, seriously mind-blowingly awesome. I've never had anything to prove that I have a sister, except for Octavia herself of course."

"That's what I figured," Clarke replied, smile still playing across her mouth.

Bellamy cleared his throat again and was about to walk away when he realised Clarke still had hold of his hand. He stared at it for a second before loking back to Clarke, who registered the fact she hadn't let go a fraction too late and dropped it quickly.

"Sorry, you were rambling and-"

"No it's okay." Swallowing, Bellamy decided to take a leap of faith. "I liked it." Evidently, his blush was never going to die down. He would be in a grave, still blushing, all because Clarke held his hand and complimented the gift he gave her. God he was a sap.

Clarkes answer was whispered so quietly Bellamy almost missed it. "I liked it too." His heart soared and he grinned wildly,

"Yeah?" He took her hand in his, interlocking the fingers, and was ecstatic when she put the sketchbook down and let him take her other hand too. Looking up at him, a light blush crossed her cheeks and she giggled nervously.

"God, I should have taken up the twins offer of moonshine," she joked, nodding towards the main camp. Bellamy frowned. Did she think the only way they could be like this was drunk? He hadn't exactly done anything to stop that theory, pretending to have been drinking whenever they did kiss, but he had always done that because he thought that was how she wanted it. Was he wrong? She chewed her lip and stared at their hands, too scared to look him in the eye. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like? If we kissed sober, or got together or whatever?" Daring a glance up at Bellamy, she was surprised to find a loving gaze on his face.

"All the time, princess." He wished he was lying, that he wasn't so obsessed with her, but of course that wasn't the case. As Clarke blushed and looked down again, Bellamy pulled her towards him with their intertwined hands. "Want to find out?" The look in Clarkes eyes was pure hope as she looked up at the man of her dreams, and Bellamy loved it. He lowered his face until he was only millimeters away from locking his lips on hers, but didn't go any further, not wanting to embarrass himself too much if he was wrong. He gazed into her eyes and noticed her flicking her eyes down to look at his lips every other second. Smiling, he waited to see what she would do.

Clarke was in turmoil. On the one hand, she had imagined this scene for hours on end, on the other... Well, this was Bellamy. If they started something and it went wrong, it wouldn't just affect the two of them, it would affect the whole camp. She glanced at his lips once more before murmuring against them. "Fuck it..." Closing the gap between them, she closed her eyes and let herself feel the kiss, let herself feel the emotion Bellamy was pouring into it. She could feel in that moment how long Bellamy had been waiting for this moment, how long they both had, and decided she didn't care about consequences anymore. Bellamy was having similar feelings as he removed his hands from hers and placed his hands on her hips, pulling her as close to him as possible. Clarke wound one hand around his waist and let the other find its way to tangle in his curls, sighing happily into the kiss. Bellamy was the first to pull away, murmuring a quiet "Happy Christmas Clarke" and placing a kiss on her forehead.

They held hands as they walked back into camp, not caring about what anyone thought, and were greeted by cheers. Monty and Jasper were screaming about mom and dad finally being together, while Octavia grinned as she approached them.

"About time," she exclaimed, "you just won me extra portions for a week!"

**Unbeta'd again, sorry for any silly mistakes!**


End file.
